Day 7 of the selfie project: 365 Days of Momma
The first week is done! LOL, 51 to go!
This first week has made quite an impact on me. I started out feeling incredibly overwhelmed on day 1…. Thinking to myself “what have I gotten myself into”. As with everything in life I just jumped in feet first. I have no concrete plans to continue doing weekly check ins, but I will certainly check in at least monthly because one glaringly obvious thing this week has brought to my attention is exactly how insecure I am about myself in pictures. I committed to taking pictures of myself, at least one a day. What I did not commit to was the number of pictures that would make it to the cutting room floor before the ones that are posted go up. I found myself getting into a routine this week of critiquing each picture I took to make sure it was “good enough” to show the world. Far too often the phrases, “I am fat in this one” or “my nose looks huge in this one” (to just pick a few!) were running through my head. This project is about acceptance. “I am me and me is awesome” will be my new mantra.
So I think it is time to set some ground rules. Every 4-5 weeks I will pick a problem area… Something that drives me nuts about the way I look. That problem area is what I will focus my efforts on with acceptance. It will be discussed occasionally and then I will find a way to learn to embrace that piece of myself through positive reinforcement or other methods.
In that spirit we will start this first period with my nose.
Noses, oh noses. They are one of those awful areas on the body that Never. Stops. Growing… Ever.
Mine is constantly clogged up due to chronic allergies and my sense of smell is atrocious (a benefit in the nursing profession). It is also huge (in my mind), and getting larger by the year. I hate the way it looks in pictures, which is especially hilarious since I do not mind it all that much in the mirror. For some reason when I see my face in a picture it is literally the first thing I focus in on. I always blame the camera angle on the size of my schnozzola, but the reality of the situation is that it’s just big… or at least I think it is. You see, what may seem glaringly huge to me might not be something that even registers for you. I suspect my nose obsession partially has to do with the fact that nose sizes were something that were commonly discussed when I was a child (frequently as, “I hope you don’t get your Grandfather’s nose”… sorry Djodji”). The other part of my nose obsession really just is all about my inability to effectively breathe through it most of the time. It is literally always on the back of my mind. Sometimes I wear my glasses just to make it seem smaller (Thank you Howard Stern for teaching me that trick… I did learn something from your movie). So for the next few weeks I will be wearing my contacts more as we address my issues with my nose.